Daily Share 90 (cleaned)
I am currently writing from the comforts of the in-laws' house. Today was a crazy flurry of activity; I packed for this trip, which takes a lot of work cuz baby, but then I also vacuumed and mopped the entire bottom two levels of the house so we'd come back to somewhere clean. That included mopping the basement stairs, which only happens once in a blue moon. And then I also had to prep the cats' litter boxes and food and water, and did regular chores... So we tired, but Nate let me catch a nap when I got here, so it's not too bad.
Erica had a nice screaming fit before dinner. I dunno if she was hungry or if she just wanted held, but we currently subscribe to the "if she's screaming for it but it's not about her wellbeing, we don't give it to her" method of parenting, for promoting boundaries and communication. So I offered food and milk and changed her diaper, but she kept screaming unless I was carrying her around. So I just let her sit there. It's so, so hard. I do think it's important to teach her that screaming is not the way to communicate, and I'm comfortable with how we currently do things in theory, but in practice, my little mama lizard brain gets so anxious when she screams. It's horrible. I was beyond relieved when she finally stopped to eat.
In this fit tonight and also on several other occasions, it very much seems like she's already using screaming and crying as an expression of anger, rather than as a cry for help like when she was a younger baby. She throws things, and shoves things away, and throws herself around. She pauses in between the screaming and sobbing to check my reaction or to see if I'm nearby, so I know she's putting it on, to a degree.
Is this the beginning of the terrible twos? She's only fourteen months. I do feel silly sometimes, insisting she doesn't get what she wants if she's screaming. She's still so young, and she's just telling me she's unhappy in the easiest way she can. I know that to be true. I also know that she's entirely capable of communicating in other ways when she actually needs something, though. Is it too early to insist, to teach her, that she needs to use those methods of communication instead?
Parenting is hard, y'all.