Daily Share 68.1 (out) midsized read
I really thought I could come up with new post names based on whatever I was writing about, but I feel like I'm running out (ha!) of names. I do a lot of repetitive things. Same name type shit. We'll see what happens I guess.
Erica had breakfast and then had to entertain herself for a while cuz mommy was needing a break. She stood en pointe to reach things on the third shelf; when she still could not, she started throwing stuff on the second shelf to the floor in rage. Is this an early start to our terrible twos? lol.
god please no
I did five miles on the bike once she went down for a nap. Now I gotta figure out what to do with myself. I've been "resolved" to form a good routine for a while but depression and good old fashioned laziness keep me from managing it. Throw in a little screen addiction and ADHD and you've got yourself a recipe for literally never having a routine ever, which has been most of my adult life.
My sweet, annoying ass,1 wonderful husband tries really hard to support me in forming good routines. For example: we resolved together to go to bed at 10:30 during the week, and he reminds me of that respectfully in an attempt to help, like... almost every night. I don't do it, but he does try. That's just one facet of how he tries to help, and I can't lie, I'm starting to feel bad about it.
I hate that he puts in so much effort to help and it doesn't pay off. I want to do well for myself and my family, and I think routines are gonna be a big part of that. I do also get frustrated at the reminders, and that feels bad in a different way. My little authority-hating brain tends to have a knee jerk response to being told "hey it's our bedtime :)" and it's not a nice one. I'd like that to change. All this to say, I'm pretty motivated to be productive with my day and start building routines.
But it's hard.
Taking care of Erica is a first step that I manage consistently. Doing my exercise and skin care during her nap time and writing this is another step towards routines. A segue into working on my book or doing calligraphy, I'm hoping. The rough part is having to do it all again tomorrow, too.
I'm also really tired. So also maybe rest. Sigh.
Baby steps.
I'm kidding I swear↩